Plus Tips to Help Them Through This Sometimes Chaotic Time of Year
Many of us view the holiday season as a time of joy and love. But for children with trauma, that often isn’t the case. The holiday season brings extra stressors and triggers for your child with trauma. Because this can be an extra stressful time for you and your child, it’s important to prepare them early for all the things that the holiday season brings, such as large family gatherings.
Why the Holiday Season is So Challenging
The holidays are a time of heightened emotions where regulation can be a challenge. Typically there is excitement and anticipation for the holidays. But it can also bring stress and anxiety triggered by changes in routine, sensory overload, changes in diet, and expectations. The many holiday activities can also remind children of the loss they have experienced.
The bottom line is that even if your child doesn’t remember much about their life before joining your family, the irregularities of this season can increase your child’s anxiety about their place in life or in your home.
Trauma-Informed Care for the Holiday Season
Even for adults, the holiday season can stir powerful emotions of nostalgia. For children with Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs), feelings of excitement, sadness, and even anger can be amplified during the hustle and bustle of the holiday season. This is because their adverse experiences shape the way your child experiences the world around them, including how they form relationships and react to certain situations.
We know you probably already approach your child’s schooling and regular activities through a trauma-informed lens. But because the holiday season can be unpredictable and chaotic, it is even more important to approach it through a trauma-informed lens.
Let’s look at some tips to help prepare your child for the upcoming holiday season, and how you can help guide them through this time of year.
1 | Talk About What is to Come
Start by having a conversation with your child about the holiday season. Talk about the changes in routine that could happen or how something unexpected may come up. Having this conversation before changes to routine happen can help your child mentally prepare. Go over tactics to help them self-regulate, keeping these fresh in their mind throughout the holiday season.
2 | Communicate with Family
Don’t forget to communicate with family ahead of time of what you and your child will or will not participate in. Be clear and firm with your expectations as well. Remember, your first priority is protecting your child from retraumatization. If you know a gathering is not a good fit for your child, trust your gut and decline the invitation.
3 | Don’t Assume
Don’t assume that your child is enjoying themselves during this time. Keep the lines of communication open with your child and invite them to talk when you sense something may be wrong.
4 | Patience and Empathy
Remember to practice both patience and empathy with your child. If you notice your child is struggling, remain calm and gently transition to a redirect or an exit. Don’t match any dysregulated energy, rather, take the necessary steps to support your child.
5 | Avoid Sensory Overload
If you know that a party or event is going to become a sensory overload for your child, give yourself permission to not participate if it is truly best for your child and your family.
6 | Form New Traditions
Take this opportunity to form new family traditions with your close family and friends who are able to be flexible and accommodate your child.
7 | Stick to a Routine When Possible
Sticking to a routine when possible can help your child stay more regulated. It isn’t always possible during the holiday season, but when you can, you should!
Key Takeaways
It can be challenging to balance needs and expectations during the holiday season. However, creating as much stability as possible for your child can help them through this time of year. Preparing your child before the holiday season begins can help. Focus on creating safe spaces during the holiday season and make it a point to take breaks when your child needs it. Finally, remember to give you and your child grace during this time of year and lean into the joy of the season. Your child won’t remember how perfectly decorated the cookies and house were, but they will remember the warmth and safety you created for them.
