My mission is to put an end to childhood trauma and all the needless and unwanted pain that is inflicted upon our children, their families and our society.
Through my direct experience with my kids, I learned trauma is a real, physical brain injury caused by abandonment, neglect, abuse and other tragic events in the life of children and babies. You might not be able to see it, but it can be debilitating and won’t heal without proper care.
I also learned how healing occurs. It is simple to explain but can be so difficult to do! The simple part is developing and focusing on Positive Safe Relationships (PSR®) in every aspect of your child’s life. Through consistent PSRs and with eliminating unsafe and retraumatizing events, relationships, and peer groups our kids will heal over time. Sometimes it will take a long time! The diagram above provides a visual picture of the healing sweet spot we want to aim for.
I narrowed down all the typical events in a child’s life to 7 key touchpoints. Our job, as parents, is to create the margins of safety in each area where our kids can maintain a consistently high PSR score. Of course, this takes time to implement and, therefore, I recommend not operating in those areas that we cannot control. Perhaps you can only begin with 1 or 2 areas. This is absolutely fine because the brain can continue to heal until at least the age of 25. The first step toward healing is for us, as parents, to change our expectations away from societal expectations and achievements and, instead, on healing! Who cares if they go to college at 18 or play soccer with the local youth activity teams. We’ve been called upon to guide them to a place of health for their adulthood. We need to keep the main thing the main thing!
The following touchpoints are where we need to focus our efforts upon. I have short explanations for each where you can begin to implement the PSR® system. I also look forward to discussing in greater detail on a group Facebook page and other social media including a podcast and blog. I look forward to hearing from you and about your journey! We can only accomplish our mission together!
I also learned how healing occurs. It is simple to explain but can be so difficult to do! The simple part is developing and focusing on Positive Safe Relationships (PSR®) in every aspect of your child’s life. Through consistent PSRs and with eliminating unsafe and retraumatizing events, relationships, and peer groups our kids will heal over time. Sometimes it will take a long time! The diagram above provides a visual picture of the healing sweet spot we want to aim for.
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Where Do We Go From Here? transforms despair into hope, guiding families through the maze of challenging behaviors at home and school.